Keeping the Little in our Girls Pt 2

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am in a book club and we are discussing Dannah Gresh's book, Six Ways to Keep the "Little" in Your Girl . This really is a must read for any Christian parent with little girls running around the house!

In the Introduction, Dannah tells just a bit about her own personal struggle with purity. I had a similar (although my story is much darker and the resulting chasm between myself and the Lord was much, much deeper) and I thought it was a key point when she said that "one of the physical consequences of s*xual sin is emotional and spiritual darkness."

This consequence is only important when we teach our children (both boys and girls) that a close relationship with the Lord is a treasure worth having. {Sadly enough, unbelievers won't get this.} It is the great pearl and worth selling all that you have and sacrificing anything of this world in order to keep. The Lord will never stop loving us as His children, but our sin (whether s*xual or otherwise) separates us from God. It keeps us from receiving His blessing and being in His will. So part of the groundwork that we need to lay as Moms and Dads is to demonstrate for our girls (and boys) how important our relationship with the Lord is to us. Maybe even share with them that there have been times in our lives where you have failed and sinned (oh come on - you have sinned at least once, right? Me? Daily.) and that it has caused emotional and spiritual darkness.

But there is something very important to stress for our kids {this is where I was lost for so many years}: we are in spiritual and emotional darkness UNTIL we repent and beg for forgiveness. The Lord is quick to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness when we repent. I felt like once I was "impure", I was tainted for life and there was no forgiveness to be found for me. I have no idea where I got this, but it was a burden I carried for years. I am so thankful to know that all my sins - every last one of them - have been paid for by the blood of Jesus. It is finished!

Ok, I got off on a bit of a rabbit trail, but I'm coming back around...

This book talks about topics like modesty and purity {as you might have guessed from my intro}. It also stresses how we, as Moms and Dads, can do everything "by the book", and our kids are still their own person. They will make their own choices. This is not a manual on how to raise perfect daughters (although if there is one out there, please let me know because I'd love to have a copy). Dannah shares that there is "no way {she} can decide how things will go for my daughter, but I'm praying God will give me wisdom to be her friend and guide." That is what I want to be. My daughters' friend and guide. I want to be their gentle, loving and firm guide  as I teach them the ways of the Lord, but I also want to grow a friendship with them that will last our entire lifetimes. My daughters are 6 1/2 and almost 3 and I can already tell, they are cool kids. They are hilarious, smart and witty. I want to be their friend - who wouldn't?

Dannah tells that if you want to open up your 16 year old's heart, you gotta start "when she's 7"! It is so important to build a good foundation of communication, safety and love when she is so young because she will depend on that when she is a teenager. She will learn at a very young age if she can trust you and talk to you without fear of condemnation and judgment (although she should know that you will stand by the truths of God's Word).

Dannah tells of an APA (American Psychological Association) task force that states that "music lyrics, internet content, video games, and clothing are now being marketed to younger and  younger girls. The sexual content of the marketing and the products themselves - while creating no apparent immediate effect - is clearly linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression when these girls become teenagers." It is SO important to know and monitor what your kids are watching, listening to, and spending time doing. I have said it before and I'll say it again. I am so thankful to be able to stay home and spend time (which is priceless) with our daughters so that I am able to develop a relationship with them. It breaks my heart to think of either of my girls struggling with these issues. It takes quantity of time, not just quality. What a blessing straight from heaven.

At the end of most chapters, Dannah suggests a "back away from the book" activity. This week it is breakfast for dinner. Awesome! And since this mother of dairy free, egg free kiddos has learned how to make DF/EF donuts, you can guess what will be on the menu!