Wednesday, July 20, 2011


The Excellent Wife: A Biblical PerspectiveI think I have mentioned before that I am in a Bible study this summer at church and our focus is the Excellent Wife book by Martha Peace. This week, we discussed RESPECT. That’s right, what ole Aretha Franklin was singing about and what Rodney Dangerfield could never get. So ladies, do you respect your man? 

Here is a quick self-assessment from the book: 
  1. Do you speak to your husband in a condescending, “put down” manner? (“What’s the matter with you?”, “can’t you do anything right?”, “I should have known better than to depend on you.”, “Can’t you ever do anything right?”)
  2. Do you treat your husband in private as respectfully as you do your pastor, neighbor or your friends in public?
  3. Does your countenance show your disrespect by angry looks, looks of disgust, crossed arms, etc?
  4. Do you talk for your husband or interrupt him?
  5. Do you try to intimidate or bully your husband by making threats, verbally attacking him, crying, or in some other way manipulating him to have your way?
  6. Do you bring up his shortcomings to others?
  7. Do you inappropriately contradict him in front of others?
  8. Do you compare him unfavorably with other men?
  9. Do you listen carefully to your husband’s opinion, trying to understand him?
  10. Do you respect his position in the home so much that he can depend on you to do as he asks even when he is not home?
  11. Do you respect his requests by trying to do as he asks, even if it doesn’t seem important to you?
  12. Would your husband say that you have a meek and quiet spirit? If you do, it will be apparent in how you treat him.
  13. Are you obeying God by being respectful to your husband?

Let the wife see to it that she respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Note that this scripture doesn’t have an “if” in it. It doesn’t say, “if he deserves it, then you show him respect.” Or “if he would love me more and care about my feelings, then I would respect him.”

We are commanded to respect our husbands because they are gifts from God and as His children, we need to appreciate and respect the gift we are given.
Men need to be respected. They crave this as much, if not more, than we crave to be loved.

I think about how deeply I long for my husband to treat me special on our anniversary, birthday or Valentine’s Day. And how I feel if he completely forgets it, or is gone the entire day without a text, email, phone call or anything from him. Now I need to take that feeling, that horrible broken hearted feeling, times it by 1000 and that is how much my husband needs to be respected.
My husband needs respect like he needs air. And as his lovely wife, I am stepping on that air hose. I am preventing him from being the man that God intends for him to be.


I don’t know if you are feeling as guilty as I am, but I needed to know what to do to fix this.

The first thing we need to do is pray. Ask God to forgive our disrespectful attitudes. Pray for open eyes and hearts. Pray for a changed attitude and the strength to do this.

Find someone trustworthy who will hold me/you accountable for this change. It is going to be difficult. But the more we pray for God to open our eyes to this sin, the more He will. We will see it the way that God (and our husbands) see it.
Sin is ugly and it makes us ugly as well. We spend way too much time in front of the mirror each morning primping, covering up, teasing, straightening, curling, and coloring to let our sinful attitudes ruin it all.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Heavenly Father, help us to not only love our husbands, but to also respect them. Help us be the cheerleader and helper for our husbands. Forgive us when we fail, because we will fail. Help us to be quick to ask for forgiveness and restoration, not only from you, but from our mate. Thank You for the gift that our husband is to us and our family. We ask it all in Jesus precious name. Amen.


1 comment:

  1. Ya know... it took me a long time to learn that respect, for men, is what love is to women. Not that I'm perfect at respecting my man. Ask him. He'll confirm it, I'm sure :>. But I am working on it. Thanks for the reminder.


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